Dead Letters

Screenshot of my fourth month’s progress using Weightbot (for...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 03:26:51 -0800

Screenshot of my fourth month’s progress using Weightbot (for the iPhone & iPod touch).

Yikes, my highest Month High and my highest Month Low to date. Though, I do find it encouraging that from the 18th on until the end of the month my weight remained moderately consistent. Before I began this project I never tracked my weight as regularly as I am now, but when I did I noticed a pretty even progression. I never tracked as much fluctuation as I have in the past few months. I’m curious to see how next month will look like.

Month High: 153.4 lbs.
Month Low: 148.6 lbs.

Stalling - Falling

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:30:26 -0700

I am plagued by my visions and fantasies. I fantasize a lot about the way things could be, and I fixate on the vision of the way in which those things should materialize. I don’t write as much here as I would like because I’m a slave to this sense of order in my mind, these rules I have. I have this running list of things I’ve been meaning to write about. I’ve set them up like dominoes. But I’ve just let them collect. Their numbers grow and I lose my sense of where I meant to begin. And at a certain point the urge to even get things started is lost because I feel as though it’s been done already. I’ve had the thought and I’ve moved onto the next. I’ve written this before, why write it again? But the thing is, I haven’t written anything at all. Having the thought is no where near the same as actually putting pen to paper (or finger to key).

Fortunately some visions trump others. It means more to me to actually use this space than let it fester because I want these posts to get published in a certain order. I have to let go of that fantasy. And I’m breaking it by even writing what I’m writing now, because this is not what “the next post [wa]s supposed to be…” The plan is ruined. But that just means I have the freedom to conjure a new one. I’m too obsessive, it’s done more harm than good, I’m aware of this. So I just need to reassure myself that it doesn’t matter how these dominoes get knocked down, so long as they actually fall.

Screenshot of my third month’s progress using Weightbot (for the...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 06:50:02 -0700

Screenshot of my third month’s progress using Weightbot (for the iPhone & iPod touch).

I knew this little project would pay off eventually.

I love visualization (as a general rule), love it, love it, love it. But in the context of this post I’m really talking about data visualization. And I suppose my fondness for it all boils down to perspective, visualizing data so at to approach it in another way and broaden our understanding of it. It’s like any art form really, it’s taking the known and illuminating it in such a way that it becomes new. And in this instance it totally is, because I’ve never had this information collected to begin with. So I’ve never really seen any of these patterns before.

The first thing I’m noticing is that I’m gaining weight from month to month (an average of 1.7 lbs.), which is interesting because you could infer that I gain weight from year to year. From what I know, that’s not the case. Then again, I’ve never charted these numbers before so I can’t be certain of that. So my body either balances itself out every year or I gain a negligible amount of weight that goes by unnoticed.

I also see, based from the average slope of my weight gain/loss, that I maintain my weight midway through the month and then gain weight during the latter half. And these periods of time are juxtaposed between consistency and irregularity. The first half of these past three months are marked by periods of leveling, while the latter half of each month spikes erratically. And I don’t know why that is, but I’m enjoying theorizing about it and the patterns themselves.

Unfortunately, when I start meditating on the patterns I become disheartened by the fact that I don’t have as large a data set as I could have, had I started tracking my weight much earlier. Many of the theories floating around inside my head are based on time. But as time progresses, things tend to change and so I wonder as I get older and my body begins to change whether or not I’ve shifted into a new pattern without realizing it. It’s most certainly the case, and it’s nothing I can change since I don’t have dominion over space-time, but that doesn’t stop me from agonizing over what can’t be known, but could have been known. I will wonder how things have changed. And yet I know I should maintain focus on the excitement of seeing how things will change. So that is what I will do.

Maintaining. Focusing. Changing.

Month High: 153.0 lbs.
Month Low: 148.0 lbs.

Screenshot of my second month’s progress using Weightbot (for...

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:22:53 -0700

Screenshot of my second month’s progress using Weightbot (for the iPhone & iPod touch).

It looks as though I’ve been steadily gaining weight, however slightly. It seems a bit odd given that it’s Summer, you’d think I would’ve sweated away to nothing. I’m guessing it has to do with stepping up my exercise routine, and by “stepping up” I mean to say even getting around to exercising at all. When I got sick at the turn of the new year I totally abandoned my workout routine. It wasn’t until last month that I made a conscious effort to pick up where I left off.

Lately a lot of things (more than usual) have been floating around in my head, mostly about the way things should be… and I know I should be living healthier, in every facet of my life: physically, mentally and spiritually. And since I’ve always had a pretty good handle on my physical body/being I thought wresting control in that area would be pretty easy. And it has been, I’ve fallen back into the routine of exercising quite easily. That said, I can’t truly say I’m all that concerned with exercise in and of itself. Even when I wasn’t exercising, I kind of was because I never stopped walking. But walking to me is almost like breathing, it’s just something I have to do, and in the doing don’t even think about. It’s never had anything to do with the act of maintaining physical health, it’s been about other things, and none of them involve challenging myself. There’s a thread here I could follow, but doing so would lead me astray and violate my notions of what a tumblelog should be. Should be.

Real exercise to me means sweating, or rather, pushing yourself; challenging yourself. I could always work up a sweat during one of my long walks, but again, I never found them challenging. Pushing myself is sort of what I’m chasing. That, along with maintaining a routine, and by extension becoming accustomed to committing to committing. There’s another one of those loose threads again.

All of this has been a roundabout way of saying that I think I gained some muscle in August, which would account for the slight weight gain. It’s probably imperceptible to most people, but I can see the way my body’s changed over the past month and it has me pretty jazzed. But probably not for the reasons most would think. There’s that first thread again, and a third, but again, I’ll skip over them for now.

Month High: 150.6 lbs.
Month Low: 146.8 lbs.

"We are the Earth Intruders / Muddy with twigs and branches"

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 03:10:54 -0700

“We are the Earth Intruders / Muddy with twigs and branches”

- Björk (song - Earth Intruders | album - Volta)

Screenshot of my first month’s progress using Weightbot...

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 07:40:24 -0700

Screenshot of my first month’s progress using Weightbot (for the iPhone & iPod touch).

I’m not particularly concerned with my weight, but I had to download Weightbot when my brother demoed it for me some months back on his iPhone. I was instantly smitten by its clever user interface and gorgeous design. I suppose the app doesn’t do all that much, but what it does do looks beautiful.

It takes full advantage of my iPod touch’s motion-sensing capabilities by displaying a chart of various statistical information when tilted to the left, and when tilted to the right it displays a graph of my progress which, when double-tapped, can cycle through views of the week, month or year. All in all it’s a pretty snazzy app for a design geek and numbers nerd like me.

Again, I don’t know how practical my purchase was given that I don’t pay too much attention to my weight, at least as far as numbers are concerned, but now that I have charts and graphs to pore over, I’ve been kicking around this idea that just might make Weightbot a worthwhile buy. Perhaps I’ll elaborate on that idea in a future post.

So, I finally purchased Weightbot on July 5th and began tracking my weight on July 3rd at 146.8 lbs. And I ended my first month on August 3rd at 146.8 lbs. I ended just where I began. How come I end up where I started?

Month High: 149.8 lbs.
Month Low: 145.6 lbs.

Oh, by the way, I don’t necessarily have a “goal” in mind, but I felt I needed to have one for the sake of having one, so I chose a Goddess Number (1 + 4 + 4 = 9). Also, I was curious as to what happens when a goal is reached in the app. Will there be an animation of some sort? Will a tune be played? Will I be disappointed? We’ll just have to wait and see.

"Boys you play well into midnight / ‘Can I join you?’ / said the Lady In Blue / said the..."

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 06:51:26 -0700

“Boys you play well into midnight / ‘Can I join you?’ / said the Lady In Blue / said the Lady In Blue / said the Lady In Blue / ‘I can play too.’”

- Tori Amos (song - Lady In Blue | album - Abnormally Attracted To Sin)

"You have to piss on our parade / You have to shred our big day / You have to ruin it for all..."

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:55:19 -0800

“You have to piss on our parade / You have to shred our big day / You have to ruin it for all concerned / In a drunken punchup at a wedding”

- Thom Yorke of Radiohead (song - A Punchup At A Wedding. (No No No No No No No No.) | album - Hail To The Thief)

"And when my hand touches myself / I can finally rest my head / And when they say “take of his..."

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 22:01:27 -0800

“And when my hand touches myself / I can finally rest my head / And when they say “take of his body” / I think I’ll take from mine instead / Getting off / Getting off while they’re all downstairs / Singing prayers / Sing away / He’s in my pumpkin pj’s / Lay your book on my chest / Feel the word / Feel the word / Feel the word / Feel the word / Feel the word / Feel it”

- Tori Amos (song - Icicle | album - Under The Pink)

A Resolution Revisited - Happy New Year!

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 20:47:49 -0800

I hit a roadblock about two weeks ago when I was trying to make a post on this tumblelog. I wanted to post an MP3 that I’ve been meaning to share for some time, but when I got around to it I couldn’t because I had to customize my Tumblr HTML template to do so. The problem is I don’t know how to code in HTML. So I never got around to posting that MP3. It was quite frustrating, however, it did incentivize my learning HTML (again). I realize I’ve said this before, and I was only just reminded of that fact and I feel horrible about the whole situation. But I made a promise and I plan to stick to it. I’ve a little over two weeks to learn something new (anything) about HTML to fulfill my promise, though, I realize that’s a pretty lame cop-out so I’m going to resolve to read O’Reilly’s HTML & XHTML - The Definitive Guide this coming year. I probably should’ve made that promise before, but then I’d be in a worse predicament now. I think everything has worked out for the best. It feels right this time around. And soon enough I’ll return to my Tumblr template and things won’t look so esoteric. At least, that’s the hope. Happy 2009 everyone!

A Tribute To Akira Kurosawa - A Dream

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 02:34:34 -0800

I’m more than a bit late with this post, but better late than never, right?

So, thanks to a very good friend of mine, one whom I shall forever be indebted to, I was alerted to a retrospective of the late, great, Japanese filmmaker, Akira Kurosawa. The retrospective, Akira Kurosawa: Film Artist, was hosted by the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences here in Los Angeles, and it consisted of an exhibition of Kurosawa’s art, personal effects, etc. at the Academy’s main galleries and a series of screenings at their theatres. When I learned of this news, I was floored. I had to be there.

The funny, as in curious, thing was that it was only some months prior that I decided to embark on a Kurosawa retrospective of my own. I’d become dead set on watching as many Kurosawa films as I could get my hands on. I have a habit of doing this, especially with music, I must consume the entire catalogue of an artist’s work. And I must do so in order. I’m obsessed with chronologies in this respect because there’s nothing I love more than seeing something evolve over time, especially an art form. And I suppose I chose Kurosawa because I was already familiar with some of his films and felt like his filmography was something worth diving into. Thankfully, I consumed every bit of his work I could find before I learned of the Academy’s retrospective, it made the experience all the more rich and involved.

So on September 23rd, 2008, I had the great pleasure of enveloping myself in the world of Akira Kurosawa. While I had been to the Academy… before, this was the first time I had ever visited their galleries. It was an amazing experience. There’s just something ineffable about bridging this gap from the cinematic to the physical. All of these things, all of his work, had only ever existed in my mind, and seeing it all in person was… so many things. It was overwhelming at times, definitely surreal, exciting for sure, illuminating… I could go on and on.

I had an experience similar to this when my brother took me to the Los Angeles County Museum Of Art’s exhibition of Buddhist and Hindu iconography. At that time I was well immersed in the world of religious symbology, and had a special interest in Eastern philosophies. So I’d studied this work in the same way that I’ve studied Kurosawa’s work, from afar. Every painting, every sculpture, every piece of embroidery, etc. only existed in my mind. All I ever had were photographs and video. Seeing everything in person was a whole new experience. Something about sharing the same space… I don’t know what it is. But whatever that was, I loved.

To give some perspective, there were two spaces that housed the actual exhibition. The first was in the Academy’s Grand Lobby Gallery which, funny enough, is located in the lobby, on the first floor. This gallery was dedicated entirely to Kurosawa film posters from around the world. I actually didn’t get to see much of this part of the exhibit because a large section of the Grand Lobby was cordoned off for a party that was scheduled later that night. I didn’t really mind missing out on the posters since I felt they had little to do with the films or the artist.

The real meat of the exhibition took place in the Fourth Floor Gallery. It was a veritable Kurosawa cornucopia. They had everything: scripts, screenplays, sketches, etchings, paintings, costumes, awards, letters, etc. I was in heaven. If I were allowed to, I would’ve taken some photos but I didn’t dare risk permanent expulsion from the Academy. I probably came close though.

I had no idea what to expect at the exhibit so I was really shocked to see costumes from Kagemusha and Ran. They even had Lady Sué’s kimono from Ran, right there, out in the open. The thing wasn’t even behind glass! It was an exquisite piece of embroidery, a marvel of craftsmanship. I wanted so much to touch it, if only because I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was looking on something in a way I never had before. The detail was extraordinary and something that I realized never translated to the screen. This was real, lived-in. Whether by use or age, it was frayed. It was wild trying to reconcile reality with fantasy.

Another highlight was looking upon Kurosawa’s Palme d’Or award, which he won at the Cannes Film Festival in 1980 for Kagemusha. I’d never seen a Palme d’Or in my life, not in person anyway. It was so beautifully polished and I stood there transfixed by the way it reflected a golden light. The leaves looked so delicate, as though they were about to fall off at any second. Very surreal.

Another surprise were Kurosawa’s personal effects. They had housed a pair of his geta behind glass, along with personal stamps that he carved himself out of stone and marble, they even had his trademark Crescent Moon stamp. They also had a couple of his iconic sunglasses, though, how could they not? But what I was most taken with were his pastels and watercolors. They were there, right in front of me, used and abused. I suppose I was entranced as I was because they were tools of the trade, tools I could use and understand. It was tools like those that helped create all the little marvels that plastered the walls. I kept imagining him holding these things… how he would use them…

Oh, I forgot to mention the films. At various points in the gallery there were projectors hanging from the ceiling that were projecting his films, in their entirety, on the walls. I remember seeing the great showdown at the end of Yojimbo, as well as the train scene from High And Low and one of the battle sequences from Kagemusha. I remember seeing Seven Samurai as well, but can’t remember which part was playing at the time.

Finally, I’d like to talk about what I feel was the great highlight of the exhibition, Kurosawa’s sketches for Dreams. I now remember what first got me started on my personal Kurosawa retrospective. Some time back I decided to begin work on a sketch book of my own dreams. I had this vision of working with color, something I’d never really done before. It was there that I made the connection. At the time, Kurosawa existed as a Black & White film director, primarily. I knew he eventually filmed in color, but that classic palette is what his name conjures in my mind. And of the films I knew he filmed in color, Dreams was the one that always sprung to mind. It was dream and Dreams that got me started on this latest obsession.

Of Kurosawa’s later work, Dreams is my favorite. That probably isn’t saying much if you knew how I felt about his later films, but that still doesn’t take away from the fact that Dreams is a great film. I think I love it as much as I do because it’s a departure for Kurosawa, it’s one of his most experimental works.

Anyway, I was taken with the sketches because I only learned then, standing in front of them, that there were several scenes conceptualized for Dreams that were never realized. I remember feeling sad. And I keep going back to this gap, the gap between the physical and the mental, the real and the fanciful. I have in mind the first, my favorite, segment of Dreams. I have the final scene in mind. And I have in mind the way it existed in the rough, the way I saw it sketched out and hanging on the gallery wall. That sketch in no way lives up to the majesty of the final vision that was committed to celluloid. And so when I looked upon all those sketches I kept thinking, What could have been? There was so much potential there. And I’m not just talking about those sketches, those scenes, that film, but also the artist at the center of it all. It threw me into this… I began to realize what was gone, what had left. To make the leap, to bridge the gap is something only a visionary can accomplish, a true artist. I remember feeling a profound sense of awe and admiration mixed with a great sadness. Though, I also felt hopeful. There’s something to seeing someone’s life in that way… the art and the artist, together. Both are deeper, richer, more complex than you can ever imagine… and they’re intrinsically intertwined. It was life-affirming being surrounded by all that passion. It was passion, dedication and obsession made real. Art personified. Or maybe life personified? Either way, it was a dream.

Akira Kurosawa, The Criterion Collection

A Second Wind - Year 2.3

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 05:48:21 -0800

I’ve neglected this place, this tumblelog. For the past few weeks I’ve had it in my mind to write more. There have been times, many days, I’ve had the urge to write. I’ve thought to myself, I should blog this. But the moment invariably passes. It’s rarely anything really important, though, I obviously think enough of the thought, idea, feeling, etc. if I want to share it, and yet I don’t. Chalk it up to laziness I suppose. I would like to credit pure laziness, but this just speaks to my nature. I’d rather listen than talk. I’d rather be passive than active. Which is fine, well, would be fine…

I was speaking to a friend recently and… well I suppose it’s not important, the details, but I mused on this idea of nature. There are few things I think are wrong, rather, I like to think things just are and just happen. Everything’s a matter of perspective. The Universe knows nothing of right or wrong, of love or hate, etc. We color the world the way we feel it. It’s all about feeling. I feel things are wrong, I feel things are right. I feel all sorts of things, but in the end they’re only my feelings. They substantiate nothing, except my personal truth, my self.

Everything would be fine if I felt everything were fine. No one can color my view of the world. No one can make me believe this is wrong; or right. I’ve spent a lot of time silent and alone. I know that I’m different. I want to be silent, I want to be alone. I know most people don’t want these things. No one can make me believe there’s anything wrong with who or what I am. To thine own self be true. Only I have a bead on who I am, on what’s right and what’s wrong. And lately I’ve felt like things aren’t quite right, the silence and the solitude. I don’t think it should feel this comfortable to be this quiet and this alone. It feels like nothing. I feel numb sometimes and I think, It shouldn’t be this way. It didn’t used to be this way, though, I’ve never taken things to this extreme. I’m letting myself withdraw far too much. And it’s easy. But it’s wrong. This, like everything else, should be taken in moderation. It’s fine if you want not to speak, it’s fine if you want to be alone… if you want it.

I want to break the silence.

…to thine own self be true…

Synchronicity - Over The Transom

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 01:25:58 -0700

I’m still trying to make some headway with my back catalogue of GQ. I recently finished reading the November 2006 issue cover-to-cover. In one of the final articles, The Case of the Killer Priest by Sean Flynn, I came across the phrase, over the transom.

Tonight I was listening to episode 499 of The Tech Guy and about 43 minutes in I heard the phrase again, over the transom.

I thought it was odd. I’m sure I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve heard that phrase. I’m also sure that I haven’t heard or seen it used in years. I thought it was odd to happen upon it twice in the same week. That’s all… just thought it was something to take special note of.

GQ
The Tech Guy

Testing out “The Tumbler” that I just downloaded...

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 06:16:40 -0700

Testing out “The Tumbler” that I just downloaded from Apple’s app store for my iPod touch (Narcissus). (via TheTumbler)

"My headphones / They saved my life"

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:18:54 -0700

“My headphones / They saved my life”

- Björk (song - Headphones | album - Post)

"Now that you found it / It’s gone / Now that you feel it / You don’t / You gone off the..."

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 04:06:23 -0700

“Now that you found it / It’s gone / Now that you feel it / You don’t / You gone off the rails”

- Thom Yorke of Radiohead (song - Nude | album - In Rainbows)

"Is there room in my heart / For you to follow your heart / And not need more blood / From the tip of..."

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 17:27:17 -0700

“Is there room in my heart / For you to follow your heart / And not need more blood / From the tip of your star?”

- Tori Amos (song - Dātura | album - To Venus And Back)

Synchronicity - Agatha & Jasper

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 04:09:24 -0700

Tonight, I was corresponding with a friend online and she got to talking about one of my favorite films, Minority Report. She proceeded to bring up two of my favorite characters from the film, Agatha and Dr. Iris Hineman. She mentioned Agatha offhandedly and delved more deeply into Dr. Hineman. She imagined a life for herself much like Dr. Hineman’s. The doctor who has withdrawn from the world at large to tend to her plants and her greenhouse; the recluse. My friend, however, imagined tending not to plants but insects.

I recounted my favorite scene from the film in which Dr. Hineman illustrates the nature of survival:

It’s funny how all living organisms are alike.

[The doctor takes one of her genetically modified plants in hand and proceeds to wring the life out of it.]

When the chips are down, when the pressure is on, every creature on the face of the Earth is interested in one thing and one thing only.

[The plant, in the throes of near-death manages to free itself from the doctor’s grasp, wounding her hand.]

Its own survival.

I tend to take note of peculiar characters whenever I come across them. When my friend mentioned The Recluse in relation to the world of entomology I was instantly reminded of a video game character from The Legend Of Zelda - Twilight Princess, Agatha, the bug princess. You encounter the character in a side quest that involves collecting “golden bugs” in sets (male & female) to bring to her “ball”. Upon delivering a set you’re rewarded handsomely with jewels and upgrades to your wallet which in turn allow you to carry even more jewels. When your task is complete Agatha’s ball commences and her house swarms with these shimmering, iridescent insects; pill bugs, butterflies, snails, etc. It’s quite a sight. And very peculiar. I know I question things more than I should, more than what’s considered “normal”, so it goes without saying that Agatha has provided ample fodder for me. Who is she? Where does she come from? Where does her love of insects come from? Where does her wealth come from? The significance of her title? Of the ball? I don’t know.

Another peculiarity? The name Jasper. That’s the name of my sister’s pomeranian-chihuahua mix. He’s a relatively new addition to the family and I always thought it odd… the name. You don’t hear it all that much. Unless of course you watch The Simpsons or read the Twilight series. So I thought it was interesting when the name sprung up again in relation to Children Of Men. I happened to bring up Michael Caine’s character in the film, whose name I happened to forget is Jasper (another recluse), when talking about Dr. Hineman. More interesting still is that his character, like Dr. Hineman, is a part of my favorite scene in the film. The scene involves a discussion between Jasper and a main character, Kee. That too I found interesting, Kee, and you would too if you knew me well enough.

Jasper: Everything is a mythical, cosmic battle between faith and chance.

[Offers Miriam a joint.]

Miriam: Maybe I shouldn’t.

Jasper: You already did. Take another one. Now cough. What do you taste?

Miriam: Strawberries!

Jasper: Strawberries? That’s what it’s called: Strawberry Cough!

Kee: Wicked!

Jasper: So. You’ve got faith over here, right? And chance over there.

Miriam: Like yin and yang.

Jasper: Sort of.

Miriam: Or Shiva and Shakti.

Jasper: Lennon and McCartney!

Kee: [Looking at pictures.] Look, Julian and Theo.

Jasper: Yeah, there you go! Julian and Theo met among a million protestors in a rally by chance. But they were there because of what they believed in in the first place, their faith. They wanted to change the world. And their faith kept them together. But by chance, Dylan was born.

Kee: [Picks up another photo.] This is him?

Jasper: Yeah, that’s him. He’d have been about your age. Magical child. Beautiful. Their faith put in praxis.

Miriam: “Praxis”? What happened?

Jasper: Chance. He was their sweet little dream. He had little hands, little legs, little feet. Little lungs. And in 2008, along came the flu pandemic. And then, by chance, he was gone. You see, Theo’s faith lost out to chance. So, why bother if life’s going to make its own choices?

Kee: Baby’s got Theo’s eyes.

Jasper: Yeah.

Miriam: Oh, boy. That’s terrible. But, you know, everything happens for a reason.

Jasper: That, I don’t know. But Theo and Julian would always bring Dylan. He loved it here.

Many concurrences. Many links. Many peculiarities. Chance? Reason? Coincidence? Purpose? I don’t know what any of it means, I just thought it was interesting, I just thought I’d share.

"It takes courage / To enjoy it / The hard core / And the gentle / Big time sensuality"

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 02:41:44 -0700

“It takes courage / To enjoy it / The hard core / And the gentle / Big time sensuality”

- Björk (song - Big Time Sensuality | album - Debut)

"I am watching your chest rise and fall / Like the tides of my life / And the rest of it all / Your..."

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 05:47:16 -0700

“I am watching your chest rise and fall / Like the tides of my life / And the rest of it all / Your bones have been my bed frame / And your flesh has been my pillow / I’ve been waiting for sleep / To offer up the deep with both hands”

- Ani DiFranco (song - Both Hands | album - Ani DiFranco)